Maternity Leave Monday

36 Weeks

Finally, it's the day I've been day dreaming about since I first told my employer that I was was pregnant - my maternity leave has officially begun! No more getting up at the crack of dawn and fighting an hours worth of traffic all the way to work. No more staring at the clock on my computer and praying that 5 o'clock comes quickly. No more,no more, no more! Hurray!

Ah,the things I will do with my oodles of free time! Finish getting the nursery ready, give the house a really good cleaning, do some little craft projects for the baby's room, write more often in my blog - I have a list a mile long of things I've been wanting to do but haven't had the time for. Of course, I'm probably fooling myself by thinking that I'm going to get all of these things done before Rory makes his appearance. Part of my brain - obviously the more RATIONAL part - is just starting to realize that my free time is quickly starting to come to end and that in a few short weeks, my entire life is going to be consumed by a little person who requires my full attention 24 hours a day. Yikes!

At my last doctor's appointment on Friday, I was already 30% effaced, although I haven't started to dilate yet, and the doc thinks that it will only be another two to three weeks. TWO TO THREE WEEKS, PEOPLE! That's barely any time at all! I'm torn between being relieved that this pregnancy is almost over and being terrified that my life is about to change FOREVER...there's no stopping it now!

Pee, Pee and Pee Some More

I just thought the world should know, I've peed EIGHTEEN TIMES today - and it's only 3pm!

Ain't pregnancy great?

Graceful as a Hippo

I did an amazingly stupid and embarrassing thing today - I walked right into a locked bathroom stall door. HARD. The whole stall shook and the bathroom echoed with the loud OOOOMPH sound I made as my enormous belly hit the door. And to make matters worse, the stall was OCCUPIED! I must have scared that poor woman to death! I turned around and high-tailed it out of that bathroom faster than any waddling woman should be able to move so I could go hide at my desk. I didn't see who was in the stall - and hopefully, she didn't see me either! - But I'm sure she's got a good story to tell now, too!

I think I've officially entered into the clumsy, airhead phase of this pregnancy.

Lucky me.

Are You Ready for This Belly?

33 Weeks

Sickness and Pregnancy Don't Mix

Week 31

In case anyone one has been wondering why I've fallen off the face of the Earth lately, it's because I have been sick. Not just a little sick, mind you, but full blown, knocked flat on my ass sick. What started out as a little cold ended up morphing into bronchitis and a sinus infection (at least that's the latest diagnosis) and when you're pregnant, there are very few medications that you can take. I'm coughing constantly, my eyes are watering like Niagra Falls, and I haven't been able to take a breath through my nose in over a week. Do I sound fun to be around or what?

Did I also mention that I was sick on New Year's Eve? How wrong is that? I had been all excited about a party that we were invited to - I had really wanted to whoop it up for our last New Year's "without children". But instead of getting dressed up and socializing with friends, I ended up in my pajamas watching the ball drop on TV through a mountain of dirty tissues. Sigh, it just ain't right.

Okay, that's all for my pity party. Hopefully next week will be better...

A Taste of What's to Come

Saturday, my friend Holley and I headed out the door in the morning to have a "Girls Day Out" and to hit the stores one last time in search of Christmas presents. We knew the stores were going to be crowded, but we were really excited because someone had lent us their handicap parking placard, meaning that we could park RIGHT IN FRONT of almost any store we wanted. How COOL is that?! (I know this seems a little bit evil, but since my back DOES hurt like hell on a fairly regular basis, I was able to rationalize any guilty feelings I may have had and decided to just enjoy it.)

The first thing we did was hit the infamous McDonald's (you know, the one place I'm not allowed to go), and get a Fruit and Yogurt Parfait for breakfast. (I was proud of my fairly healthy choice, considering the other grease laden options available to me.) Then, we took deep breaths and charged into Target, the first store on our list, with fierce determination. It has just opened, but it was already filled to the brim with shoppers practically running each other over with carts full of Christmas crap. Ah, the Spirit of the Season! As I was waddling down one of the aisles trying to elbow my way into the toy section, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my stomach.Hmmmm, I thought, that Fruit and Yogurt Parfait isn't agreeing with me. I guess that's my punishment for sneaking off to the evil Golden Arches.

Fast forward to 20 minutes later and I'm hunched over my shopping cart trying to breathe through the pain that's ripping through my abdomen. I was trying to act like nothing was wrong, but it was getting really hard and inside I was starting to freak out. I mean, what if I was in LABOR?! Dear God! I'm not ready for this yet! We don't even have a crib, or any baby clothes - I haven't even taken Lamaze class yet! I don't know how to BREATHE!!

I finally gave up on appearing to be calm and I sat down on the floor, right in the middle of the toy department. (And while I was down there trying to distract myself, I actually found some nifty gifts for Holley's nieces on the bottom shelf - go figure!) Once the pain had subsided enough for me to get up, we went through the checkout as quickly as possible (I couldn't let the shopping excursion be a TOTAL waste) and then, evil or not, thank goodness we were parked in the handicap spot close by! I called Hoby to let him know what was up and as soon as I got home, he got me out of the car and into bed, lecturing me all the while on the wickedness of McDonald's food and how it had probably made me go into labor. Uh, yeah, right. Thankfully, as soon as I was lying down, the pain started to go away.

And then, as quickly as it started, it was GONE. I was SO relieved! After calling a few people and reading some of my pregnancy books, we finally realized that I had just had my first run in with "False Labor". Somehow, I had never thought that Braxton Hicks contractions were painful - I just thought my stomach muscles would tighten up a few times and that would be the end of it. Shows what I know, eh? Let's just hope I don't have too many more of these "practice runs" - I was NOT enjoying myself one bit. And I know this is probably small potatoes compared to the real thing! If this is a taste of what's to come, then I'm not ashamed in the least to say that Mr. Epidural Man is going to become my new best friend!

Hoby made me spend the rest of the day with my feet up in bed. He went out and got some DVDs for us to watch and guess what he brought home? Super Size Me - a movie all about the evilness of McDonald's food. Ah, my husband, you've just gotta love him!

A New Definition of Enjoyment

Week 27

After a few weeks of being worried for no reason (one of my specialties), we got the results back from my Gestational Diabetes test and they were normal. THANK GOD. Being pregnant is enough trouble already without having to go on a special diet and check my blood every few hours, don't you think? I can't even imagine!

Someone actually asked me the other day how I was enjoying my pregnancy. ENJOYING? Did they say ENJOYING? HA! Am I ENJOYING having my body completely out of my control and having to pee every half hour? Am I ENJOYING the exhaustion, the constant back aches, the waddle that is becoming more pronounced every day, and the inability to tie my own shoes? I DON'T THINK SO. I know there are some women out there who love being pregnant, but I think I've gotten over the fact that I am NOT one of them.

However, there are moments like right now when I can feel Rory moving around in there and I think to myself, isn't that AMAZING?! There's actually a baby in there. A baby that Hoby and I made, kicking his cute little baby feet! How extraordinary is that? And then, my friends, it's all worth it.

Pregnancy Has Gone to My Head

Friday night we were having dinner at Hoby's aunt and uncle's house. I
was meeting him there after work, and even though I've been there
several times, I wasn't totally sure how to get there, so I asked
for directions. The directions were easy enough - get off at
the Kimbal exit and take a left, take a right at the first stop light on
Coltran, then another right on Baker. Okay, not too hard. So I'm
driving along, following the directions, but when I turn right at the
first stop light, the road dead ends at a school. And I'm like, hey,
this can't be right! So I turn around and back track a bit, but I can't
find Coltran ANYWHERE. I try calling Hoby on his cell phone, but for
once in his life, he actually turned the darn thing off and I can't get
through. I continue to drive around, hoping that I'll eventually find
the elusive Coltran, but after 15 minutes and at least 5 u-turns, I
realize that I need help.

I finally call in an SOS to my sister-in-law, Jackie, and explain my driving dilemma. Of course, she asks me for a landmark to help her figure out where I am, so I say that I'm on Kimbal, and that I just passed the Government Center. "The Government Center?" she says, "There's no Government Center on Kimbal! You're on Victoria, silly!" I had gotten off one exit too soon without even realizing it - and let me tell you, it's not like I've never gotten off at either of these exits before - I'm use them all the time! Boy, did I feel like a complete IDIOT. But at least I can chalk this up to being pregnant, right?

Just nod yes and make me feel better, okay?

Make Way for the Waddle

23 Weeks

I went for another ultrasound today because the baby still hasn't been moving very much (at least not that I can feel) and we just wanted to make sure that everything was A-OK. This was the first time I'd ever had an ultrasound in the morning - usually I have them in the late afternoon and I think the little guy has always been taking a nap. Well, he was wide awake this morning! He was movin' all over the place - waving his arms and kicking his tiny feet. (Have I mentioned how darn cute his little feet are?!) The funny thing is that I STILL can't feel it, even when I can SEE him giving me a good swift kick in the ribs. I suppose I should be grateful for my overly large placenta and the fact that it is absorbing all of his attempts to kick the living day lights out of my uterus. In a few weeks I have no doubt that I will be wishing for the days that I was blissfully unaware of his movements.

Speaking of movement, I've been horrified lately with this pregnant waddle that I have suddenly acquired. How on earth did that happen? I always swore to myself that I would not be one of those waddling women, I mean weren't they just being lazy? Couldn't they stop themselves if they REALLY wanted to? Well, unfortunately, I've now learned that the answer is a big resounding NO. I CAN'T HELP IT. These hips of mine have a mind of their own and they are quite the force to be reckoned with. I practically leave dents in the walls of the hallway at work as I waddle my way across the building. So if you happen to find yourself walking next to me, well, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

A Birthday Gift

21 Weeks

I know it's been forever since I last blogged, but since I can't blog at work anymore, it's not easy to find the time to sit down and start typing. I've been flattered though by the number of people who have asked me why I haven't updated my blog in awhile - I guess that means people are actually reading this!

Things have been going fairly well with my pregnancy lately. I think I finally hit the "honeymoon period" eveyone kept telling me about that I never thought would actually happen to me. The only thing that was worrying me was the fact that I hadn't felt the baby move yet. Perhaps I'm just being a panicky first-time mom (and if I am, well, too bad!), but everything I've read said that I should be feeling wuite a bit of movement by now and I hadn't felt even the tiniest flutter. So I called the doctor about it and she had me come in for an ultrasound. Turns out that the placenta is positioned in such a way that it's absorbing all of the motion, which explains why I haven't felt anything yet. However, I was at my parents house the other night getting ready to go out to dinner for my 29th birthday and lo and behold, I finally felt something! It like a small TAP TAP in my tummy, and it happened again a few minutes later. I was so excited! I can finally FEEL that there is a baby in there rather than just waiting to see ultrasound picture every few weeks when I go to the doctor. I felt it again last night at around the same time, so perhaps he's starting to get on a bit of a schedule. How cool is that?!

Oh, did I mention that we found out we're having a BOY? Truth be told, I was a bit shocked to find out it was a boy. Okay, I'm lying. I was VERY shocked. I almost feel off the examining table when the doctor told us. I had been so sure it was a girl... I guess that shows you how well my mother's intuition is working at this stage, eh? Hoby was estatic, of course, but it's taken me quite a while to get used to the idea of it. I always imagined myself with a daughter, you know, dressing her up in cute little clothes, putting her hair up in pig-tails, doing the mother-daughter bonding thing- that sort of stuff. I'm not really sure what to do with a baby boy. I guess I'll figure it out soon enough, won't I?

Another big thing that happened is that we traded in the VW Bug (otherwise known as the "Slut Bug") for a brand new Honda CRV. It was a little sad to give away my little red buggie mobile - it kinda felt like I was handing over the keys to my younger, wilder days, but the CRV is so much fun to drive that I got over it pretty quickly. Now I'm eye to eye with all of the trucks and SUVs on the road who were always trying to cut me off in my low riding Bug - so look out drivers on the 101, here I come with a vengence! Yes, it may be a "family car" but it's a darn cool one, if I do say so myself. So if you see me driving by in my new wheels, be sure and honk hello!

$$

17 Weeks –

I had to go into Babies R Us yesterday in order to buy a baby shower gift for a friend as I have many times before in the past. However, this time, as I looked over the giant list of things she had registered for, it began to dawn on me. I, too, am having a baby – and babies need things. LOTS OF THINGS. Diapers, cribs, strollers, bottles, high chairs, swings, bedding, special soaps, powders, little clothes… the list goes on and on and on! It’s mind boggling! How are we going to buy all of these things? (And not only that, where are we going to PUT all of these things in our tiny two bedroom house that’s already at its bursting point?) I had to quickly buy something and run out of the store before I melted into a quivering puddle of panic in the middle of a Graco stroller display.

Have I mentioned that we also need to buy a new car before the baby is born? Otherwise we’ll be taking our newborn home from the hospital strapped to the roof of my VW Bug and I doubt that will win us any parenting points. And to think that we eventually want to buy a house, too? In CALIFORNIA! HA! Where on earth will all this money come from? As my father always said, money doesn’t grow on trees (even though I’ve fervently begun to pray that it will). Everything I think about now as far as the baby is concerned has dollar signs attached to it and to be quite honest, it’s really starting to FREAK ME OUT.

Ode To Cheese

15 Weeks

I’m finally starting to get rid of the nausea and for that I’m eternally grateful. But now that the nausea is gone, an intense hunger has taken its place. It absolutely amazes me how ferociously hungry I can get without any warning at all. One minute I’m sitting down minding my own business, and the next minute, if I don’t get something to eat IMMEDIATELY, I feel like my stomach is going to drown me in acid and I’m going to die a slow, painful death. (And yes, it is that dramatic!) Along with this new found hunger has come a whole host of interesting cravings. I haven’t started craving pickles and ice cream yet, but I have started an intense love affair with cheese. Cheese is a wonderful thing. You can eat it cold or hot, on top of other food or by itself, and it comes in a wide a variety of flavors and textures so you never have to get bored. You just can’t go wrong with cheese. I’m so infatuated with cheese that when I saw a truck go by with a giant picture of some cheddar cheese painted on the side, I thought to myself, “Wow, I LOVE cheese!”, and didn’t realize I had actually said it out until my husband started laughing at me. Sighhhh, he's just jealous.

I have to admit though, that it’s really hard to give myself permission to eat all this food, even my beloved cheese. Every time I step on the scale, I dread the number that I’m going to see flashing up at me, even though I know that I have to gain weight. It’s a very difficult thing for me. I’ve struggled with my weight all my life, including a bout with Bulimia, and had just finally leveled off at a weight I was happy with, and then WHAM, pregnancy happened. I have this deep rooted fear of looking like one of those rolly-polly Little People toys that wobbles from side to side around the room. Even when my doctor told me at my appointment last week that I need to gain MORE weight, I just looked at her like she was nuts. I feel like I’ve gained a ton of weight already (okay, maybe just a few pounds, but on someone as short as me, it feels like a LOT!), but I know I’m really only at the beginning of the body ballooning process. If I keep thinking this way, I’m going to feel like a whale through my entire pregnancy. Hopefully, by the time I truly start to show, I’ll be so enthralled with the growing baby in my belly that my growing body won’t be such a big deal anymore.

And now I’m off to have a piece of cheese…

Back Sliding

Week 9.5

I am sitting here staring at the ham sandwich that my husband so graciously made for me this morning and I'm desperately trying to make myself take a bite. I keep telling myself that it will taste really good and that it will make this wave of nausea go away, but my poor stomach just won't believe me. It knows I've tried to trick it before, and the results weren't pretty. And since I'm totally exhausted and the restroom is clear on the other side of the building, I think this whole sandwich thing is a losing battle. Oh well.

I thought things had been getting better. I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and she took one look at my pale, pinched face and prescribed me the holy grail of nausea pills - Zofran. (Why she didn't prescribe that right off the bat, I have no idea, but beggars can't be choosers, right?!) I popped one of those precious little pills into my mouth right away, and about thirty minutes later, I almost felt normal. NORMAL. What a concept! I even got hungry and began an instant love affair with BBQ potato chips. I was on top of the world. We drove up to Mariposa to tell Hoby's parent's about the baby and I felt fabulous the whole time. I was in heaven.

I went to see Dr. Fine again this past Friday and she immediately remarked on how much better I looked. (Maybe that jinxed it?) She did another ultrasound and this one was the best yet. I actually got to see our tiny little friend moving all over the place - the baby looked like she/he was trying to kick box or something! It's strange how I can't feel that, but I guess I will soon enough. I had a big smile on my face as I left the office, thinking how this pregnancy thing wasn't so bad now that I wasn't puking anymore and that seeing the baby made all the suffering worth it - and that's when it hit. A big fat wave of nausea. Put me right in my place.

Since then I've been feeling terrible. We went to a really fun party on Saturday night and I refused to be a party pooper, so I bravely tried pretend I felt fine - I even boogied on the dance floor a bit. All I wanted for one stinkin' night was to feel okay and enjoy myself. But on Sunday I paid for it dearly. We went to the movies last night, and the whole time I was there all I could think about was trying to keep my dinner down. Needless to say, I didn't enjoy the movie. And today I'm even worse. I'd give anything to go home from work right now, curl up in bed and die. Okay, not really die, but you know what I mean. Will this EVER end?????

It's Got To Get Better Than This!

I don't know how I'm dragging myself to work each day. I literally cry all the way to the office(which is preferable to throwing up the whole way I guess), and once I'm there, all I can think about is how much I want to go home and sleep and puke in peace. Luckily my boss is pretty sympathetic because she had a rough pregnancy a few years ago, so she's been really cool. I don't even think she'd mind if I just went home, which I'm seriously considering doing.

I'm really glad that we told my parents this weekend, because that means I can call my mommy and complain about how sick I feel, which is really kinda nice. My parents were totally flabbergasted, by the way. You should have seen the confusion on their faces when they opened the picture frames we got them that said "Grandparents" on them. They were like, did you give this to the wrong person or what? But then my mom suddenly got it and she screamed, "Are you pregnant? Oh my Gawd!" You could tell she was thrilled. Strangely enough, my dad's first word's were "oh no...", which sort of threw me at first, but then he got this big silly grin on his face and I knew he was really happy. My parents were made to be grandparents - so even though it's going to be hard for them to come to terms with being called grandma and grandpa because it makes them feel old, they're gonna love it. I know my mom is going to enjoy the next 7 months and all the planning that we have to do. She thrives on that kind of thing. She's probably already dreaming of nurseries and baby names.

I just wish I could stop feeling so sick so I could enjoy it, too.

Meetin' the Doc

I had my first OBGYN appointment today. I was a little nervous about whether or not I'd like my doctor, but Dr. Fine put me at ease right away. I told her about my puking problem and she prescribed some different things that should help - and if they don't she assured me that there were other things to try. I could have kissed her! My favorite part of the exam was the ultrasound. Who would have thought that I'd get to have one so soon? There really isn't much to see at this point, but there is definitely something there - and that makes all of this hurling all over the place worth it. She even gave me a picture of the scan to take home to Hoby, and I know he's gonna freak out.

We're planning on telling my parents this weekend, and I'm glad I'll have something to show them. We got them little picture frames that say "Me and My Grandma" and "Me and My Grandpa". I can't wait to see the look on their faces...

The Amazing Puking Pregnant Lady

Week 7:

Consider yourselves warned - the first few months of pregnancy are a bitch. Being nauseous is bad enough, but being nauseous constantly for WEEKS ON END is the pits. Everything makes me sick - moving around, being too hot, smelling someone's lunch cooking in the microwave -even writing about those things make me want to hurl. All of a sudden, I just get THAT FEELING, you know the twinge in my teeth and the way my mouth starts to water, and I'm lucky to make it to the bathroom in time. I've stopped eating things based on how they taste, it's now all based on how it will taste when it comes back up. Sighhhh - what happened to that healthy pregnant glow? I look like a wrung out dish rag.

It just occurred to me that this is the first time I'm mentioning that we're having a baby. I just found a few weeks ago. One day, on a whim, I decided to take a home pregnancy test. I didn't really think it would come out positive - I mean, my periods have always been irregular and the only symptom I had was incredibly sore boobs. But since I take a bunch of medication that wouldn't be safe for a baby, I though it was better to be safe than sorry. Imagine my surprise when the little pink plus sign showed up on that stick! It took my breath away. I just couldn't believe it - we certainly hadn't been trying (although we also hadn't been using serious birth control either - unless you count the rhythm method as serious. You heard it hear first, ladies - THE RHYTHM METHOD DOESN'T WORK!) I wouldn't totally believe it until I heard it from a doctor, so I made an appointment for the very next day and began to mentally struggle with whether I wanted this EPT test to be wrong or right.

I went to the doctor's the next morning and they confirmed what I think I already knew - I was definitely pregnant. As I was driving back to work after the appointment, still in shock, my mother called to tell me that my grandmother had passed away. It's interesting the way that the life cycle works, isn't it? Before I could catch my breath - and before I could say anything about the pregnancy to anyone, including my husband, I was whisked off on a red-eye flight to Florida to help with funeral arrangements and to comfort my poor grandpa. (My grandparents were married for a whopping 68 years, but my grandmother was a very sick lady, so we're happy that her suffering ended sooner rather than later. It's still never easy though to lose someone you love, is it?)

I had been feeling fine before I left for the east coast, but over the course of the week I was in Florida, morning sickness began to rear it's ugly head. I started to become kind of green around the gills and I kept having to run to the bathroom. Since I was sharing a hotel room with my brother Jeremy, it soon became apparent that I wasn't going to be able to hide the fact that I was pregnant. As soon as I told him, the first words out of his mouth were "I knew it!" He was very excited and I was actually a little relieved to have finally told someone, although I felt guilty that he knew before my husband. The rest of the trip was pretty miserable, especially the flight home. I just kept feeling worse and worse and worse. I ended up having to steal one of the barf bags from the plane to carry with me in my purse, just in case I decided I needed to hurl in my mom's new Infinity G35 on the way home from the airport.

So it was with great relief that I finally got home and was able to tell my husband. Unfortunately, I didn't get to tell him in a special way like I would have liked to. I was so tired from the flight home, and so incredibly nauseous the next morning that I couldn't get out of bed so I just started crying, like a totally hormonal pregnant woman. When he asked what was wrong I sniffled, took a deep breath and said, "We're having a baby." Not the most romantic moment ever, but thankfully, he didn't care - he was thrilled! THANK GOD. Secretly I had been so worried that he would be upset, since this wasn't part of "The Plan" we had decided on, but one look at his smiling face and all my worries went out the window. And as soon as we stopped smiling and hugging one another, I promptly jumped up from the bed and threw up. Ah pregnancy. Ain't it great?

Now trying to get through each day is like trying to climb Mt. Everest. I'm exhausted, nauseous, and totally miserable. I have my first appointment with the OBGYN this Friday and I'm praying that she can give me something so I can stop puking and start enjoying being pregnant. If I can just make it to Friday.... ugh.