12 Month Newsletter

Dear Rory,
Well, it's official. I am now the mother of a ONE YEAR OLD. That means that you have been alive for 12 whole months, 52 weeks, 365 days and 525,948 minutes. With numbers that big, I can't understand how it went so quickly, but it did and now the day has come. You had your first birthday party luau, blew out your first candle in front of a ton of cameras, and then smashed the cake in your face like all good birthday boys should.



And then, of course, you had a sugar meltdown and cried for the rest of your party, but hey, it was YOUR party, dude, so you can cry if you want to - right?

This last month leading up to your birthday has been filled with a frenzy of activity from you. You've been trying to assert your new independence as a toddler, and now I fully understand why mothers of toddlers always looked so wild-eyed and frazzled - because THEY ARE. Every item in our house is becoming locked, latched or tied down in some way, and just when we think we've baby proofed EVERYTHING possible, you get into something else. This week it's the dishwasher, the oven, and the garbage can. Next week, who knows?

You are also starting the phase where you have to have everything we have, so trying to use the television clicker, our cell phones, or the camera has become a constant power struggle. You are constantly grabbing at some gadget we have in our hands - and my God, are you persistant! It looks a little something like this:



But as much as a handful as you are these days, you've really started to become your own little person, and it's so amazing to watch. I love watching you figure out how to do something for the first time, like when you learned to drink through a straw or when you were able to put the circle shape through the circle hole all by yourself. I can see the wheels turning in your head and then the light goes on in your eyes and it makes it all worth it.



I know that you'll be walking anytime now (yikes!), since you love to grab onto anything that moves and use it to get around, including your cousin Marin's baby doll stroller, which nearly gave your father a heart attack, so of course I'm posting a picture of it just to rub it in! You look so proud of yourself when you're able to get where you want to go - and as scary as it is to think of you being that mobile, I know that you're going to love it.





Everyday is an adventure with you, Rory Bear - I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings...

Love,
Mama

Rory and the Rotovirus

We have been fairly lucky with Rory during his first year in terms of illnesses - a sniffle here and there, a minor case of the runs, a chicken pox scare that turned out to be nothing.

Until now.

Rory has been diagnosed with Rotovirus, which apparently is a very common illness in children under the age of two. It's so common that our doctor was able to diagnose him over the phone without even seeing him simply by having us describing the symptoms. And oh, what fun symptoms they are! (You may want to pass over this next paragraph if don't want the somewhat graphic details.)

Rory has diahrea so badly that he literally explodes each time he goes to the bathroom, and then proceeds to leak through every diaper and every article of clothing we put on him. He also is having trouble keeping food down and had projectile vomited on several occasions (mostly when his father was watching him, thank God!). As you can probably imagine, our house has trash bags full of dirty diapers and piles of soiled laundry all over the place. Definitely not the most delightful place to be. And the best part about it? There's absolutely nothing you can do for Rotovirus - no medicine or magic pill. It just has to run it's course, which can last anywhere from 3 days to 3 weeks. THREE WEEKS, people. Just shoot me now.

And to top it all off, the poor kid is TEETHING, which is traumatizing enough for a baby as it is. So basically we've got a pretty miserable little dude on our hands (and trust me, his parents aren't the most thrilled, either.)

I think that if I have one more sleepless night, or have to change one more totally disgusting diaper while my child screams in pain from diaper rash, I may have to throw myself out a window.

Okay, maybe not really throw myself. Perhaps I'll just bang my head against it for awhile...

11 Month Newsletter

Dear Rory,

As you can probably see, I'm at little late at writing your 11 month newsletter, and I have to admit that there's a bit of a psychological reason for this. Now that you're eleven months old, that means that you are that much closer to being twelve months old, and honey, I'm just not ready for that yet. I am not prepared to be the mother of a one year old, a TODDLER, if you will, and so I decided that if I didn't write this month's newsletter, than perhaps I could hold back time for just a bit, and keep you my baby just a little bit longer.

Well, it didn't work. Go figure.

You are hurtling your way into toddler-hood at warp speed, and nothing short of the world ending could possibly slow you down. I couldn’t possibly list all of the things you learned to do this month without writing a small novel, because you do something new EVERY SINGLE DAY. So instead I’ve decided to just list some of the highlights:

• Playing hide and seek. It’s the extended version of your favorite game Peek-A-Boo and it just keeps getting better and better.

•Talking – This month’s words are hot (pronounced “HoTTTTTTT”), ducky (pronounced “DeeDee”), kitty (pronounced “KeeKee”) and Woof Woof (pronounced as two grunts), Daddy and of course, the favorite from last month, light. (Notice there is still no Mama anywhere in this mix.)

•Singing and Dancing – Almost too cute for words! You’ve started tapping your feet and swinging your arms from side to side when you hear music that you like (I dance around you all the time, so we knew it was only a matter of time before it rubbed off on you!) You also “sing” – only one note, but boy, can you hold it! And you look so serious when you do it, like a tiny little opera singer. I melt every time you do it.

•Eating, Eating, Eating – My God, child, can you put it away! You only have two bottom teeth still, but that doesn’t seem to be stopping you in the least. Your favorites right now are Nutrigrain bars, teriyaki tofu, and Craisins, but really you will eat almost anything that fits in your mouth. People wonder why I’m losing so much weight… it’s because you’re eating all my food!

•Creeping around – okay, so you’re not walking yet, but I’m okay with that because I have a feeling that you won’t walk, you’ll RUN. But you are starting to get around by holding onto the furniture and that in itself gives us enough to worry about without you being totally mobile on your feet. Sorry to say it, kid, but I see leashes in your future.

•Riding on the bike with Daddy – This month you were finally big enough to go in a bike seat, a moment your Dad has been waiting for since you were born. He immediately went out and bought you your first bike helmet, and I’ll be damned if it isn’t the cutest thing on earth!



•Giving the High Five – Hitting things is a favorite pastime of yours anyways, so it seemed only right to teach you how to give people five. Of course, we taught you in Spanish (since we’re so multi-cultural and all, haha), so you only respond to “Dame cinco”, but hey, it’s still pretty cool.

•Getting Your First Haircut - Quite the adventure! At first, you sat still because you were interested in what was going on, but after a minute or two, you were like, GET ME OUTTA HERE! It's a wonder there's any hair left on your head at all considering how much you squirmed!



And last but not least - TEMPER TANTRUMS! Yup, your temper has reared it's ugly head and you're determined to show us who's boss. You throw your arms up over your head so we can't hold you and then arch your back until your head slams on the ground behind you. Kinda graceful, actually, but I can imagine that your head is getting a bit sore. I realize it's because you are frustrated that you can't communicate what you want, but couldn't you find a more gentle way to assert yourself? Like Baby Sign Language? Just something for you to consider...

Don't worry though, little man, I still love you, temper tantrums and all.

Happy eleventh month...
Love,
Mama

Our Television Debut

Last night Rory and I were on the KTLA 10 o'clock news!

Here's how it happened:
We having dinner at this whole in the wall pizza place in Calabasas with our good friend Holley when a KTLA news van suddenly drives up and this reporter and his cameraman pop out and start heading our way. This first thing he says to us is "Hey, are you smokers?" and we all sort of look at him like he's crazy so he's says, "Well, have you heard about the new law that they are trying to pass tonight in Calabasas that would ban smoking public? So even if you were just walking down the street and you wanted to light up, you couldn't. What do you think of that?" and then the camera light shined in my eyes and the guy stuck a microphone in my face and I was like, oh shit, think of something interesting to say, QUICK!

So here's what I said:
"Well, I would like to think that we still live in a society where people are courteous enough to each other that we wouldn't need a strict law like that. If someone is smoking near my child, I would hope that I could ask them to move and they would. I think this law is going a bit overboard. It would certainly be a different world, but I think it's too strict. Definitely too strict."

Not bad for having to think on my feet, eh? I was pretty proud of myself!

Now here's what they actually put on the news:
"It would certainly be a different world, but I think it's too strict. Definitely too strict."

Oh well, at least Rory and I LOOKED good!

Happy 11 Months, Rory!

Thanks to Sara Cameron and her early birthday present to Rory, we have new pictures!





And, right in the middle of the photo shoot, Rory stood by himself without holding onto to anything for the first time!

Look at the concentration on his face...

One Big Caffeine Headache

The Mother of All Coffee Houses can really suck the big one sometimes.

Recently, they put a new policy into place that required the work schedule to be posted at least two weeks in advance, which was major progress considering that I had previously been getting only a few days notice and it was becoming unbelievably difficult to plan ahead for ANYTHING. And this short notice wasn't just a problem for me - it also affected my husband and my mother, who watch Rory when I'm at work. None of us could have a LIFE. So, when I got my schedule for the next THREE WEEKS, I was thrilled. I passed the information on, and all of us were able to make appointments, and actually make plans in advance for a change. How refreshing.

Yesterday, however, I happened to notice that the schedule posted for this week looked slightly different from the one I had at home, and I was told that yes, some changes had been made. Was anyone planning on telling us that? Good thing I happened to look at the schedule! I orginally was supposed to work on Monday from 6pm-10:30pm, and it had been changed to 4:30pm-8:30pm instead. Not a huge deal, thankfully, since Hoby was available to watch Rory either way. But shame on them for changing the schedule and not telling anyone!

Well, tonight I received a phone call at 8pm telling me that the schedule had been re-done AGAIN this afternoon, and I was now required to come in tomorrow morning 7:15am -1:45pm. SAY WHAT? That's less than a twelve hour notice! So I told them that I couldn't work that shift because I had no one to watch Rory. And guess what they told me? That it was my responsibility to find someone to cover the shift! My answer to that was ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! You can't go and change the schedule at the last minute and then expect me to drop everything and accomodate you. I have a son to take care of. I have A LIFE OUTSIDE WORK. And so I told them that I would NOT be there in the morning, and they would just have to deal with it. I'd be happy to come in during the evening shift like the past TWO schedule revisions had me down for, but that was the best I could do.

Who the heck do they think they are anyway?

To Hell With The Dell

Wondering why I haven't been blogging a lot lately? Well, for once I have a really good excuse. Our Dell laptop is having issues AGAIN and needs to be repaired for the third time in just over a year. Is that RIDUCULOUS or what? Our space bar only works when it wants to so most of my typing lookslikethis unless I smack the space bar several times between each word. And that is BEYOND ANNOYING. My train of thought gets completely interrupted before I can even finish a sentence. Soooooo, our lemon of a laptop will be packed up and shipped back to Dell for awhile and my blogging will be spotty at best. But don't give up on me... I will be back with more coffee house stories and Rory adventures as soon as I can type like a normal person again and not look like I've turned my laptop into a drum set.

Until then, I will leave you with this adorable picture of my son, the handsome devil...

My Son May Be Scarred Psychologically From This Later But....

I just had to post this picture!



Does he look stoked or what?

Ten Month Newsletter

Dear Rory,
Yesterday you turned ten months old and I’m pretty shocked that I now have a child whose age is in DOUBLE DIGITS. I mean, in just two short months you’ll be A WHOLE YEAR OLD, and I’m not sure I’m ready to handle that just yet.

This past month has been a whirlwind of activity for you. The most exciting achievement of course is the fact that you began crawling, and now it’s like we suddenly have a completely different child with a whole new set of challenges. The house has become a playground for you and you’re into absolutely EVERYTHING. If I’m in the bathroom, you’re in the bathroom yanking miles of toilet paper off the roll. If I’m in the kitchen, you’re in the kitchen knocking over the garbage can. If I’m trying to get dressed, you are right there in the closet with me, gleefully pulling clothes down off their hangers. Ah yes, people, now that our little man is mobile, the fun at our house never stops.

Of course, crawling also brings with it the added responsibility of baby-proofing the house. Who ever designed the things to supposedly make our house “safer” for our child obviously never had to deal with the likes of you! Our DVD player has been under attack ever since you figured out that you could push the buttons and make a cool clicking noise – over and over again. So we bought this handy little plastic shield at Babies R Us to put over the buttons. You went right over to the DVD player after we had attached the shield, and your Dad and I stood by thinking to ourselves, “The fun is over, buddy” and we went about our business. But within two minutes, a distinct clicking sound could be heard from the other room and there you were, pushing the buttons and smiling, with the shield off and tossed to the side. You looked up at us with this gleem in your eye and it's like you was saying, “Ha, people, is THIS the best you can do?”

To add to the excitement in our household the past few weeks, we have also been dealing with a bout of the baby runs. Son, you have produced more poopy diapers than I ever thought you could be capable of, and oh what a joy it has been changing them! We have been up to our ears in shit around here, and I mean that quite literally. As a matter of fact, last Wednesday at the Ventura Mall, I went to change your diaper, not realizing yet that you had the runs, so I had no idea what I was in for. I went to pull your pants off quickly like I always do because it makes you laugh, and as I flicked them off, poop went flying EVERYWHERE. And by everywhere I mean all over you, all over my hair, all over my clothes and all over the bathroom walls. It took me a second to realize what had happened, and then naturally, I was totally and completely grossed out. I ended up having to give both of us a makeshift sponge bath in the bathroom sink using paper towels and hand soap from the dispenser. Luckily, I had a full change of clothes for you, but as for myself, well, I wasn’t wearing anything under my sweatshirt, so I had to walk through the mall and then drive home covered in crap. Ah, the joys of motherhood - they are truly endless.

But honestly, Rory, the joys of being your mother ARE endless. Even if you are covered in poop and crawling up the walls. I love watching you discover new things every day and your adorable smile lights up my life. I can’t wait to see what adventures we’ll have next.

Love,
Mama

Chrismakkuh 2005

For those of you who may not know it, we are an interfaith family. I am Jewish and my husband is Christian, which makes this time of year very interesting in our household, especially now that we have a child. Usually Hannukah and Christmas are at different times during December so we can celebrate them separately, but in an odd twist of fate, this year they ended up being at exactly the same time. So how does one go about celebrating both holidays at once? Very creatively.

Here's how it went: We had a tree to decorate (or what my father referred to as the "non-denominational holiday shrub"), lights on our house (only white lights though - not red or green), and presents wrapped in non-holiday specific snowflake paper. But we also had stockings hung by the fireplace, and a menorah on the mantle. Confusing? Perhaps. But isn't it kind of amazing that we're able to blend the best of both holidays traditions together? Eggnog with latkes, Christmas cookies with chocolate coins, Christmas lights with Hanukkah candles? How awesome is that?

Happy Chrismakkuh!

Nine Month Newsletter

I had this written almost a month ago but never got a chance to post it.
Better late than never!

Dear Rory –
Today you turn 9 months old, which basically means that you’ve now spent as much time in the outside world as you did in my tummy. Hmmm, crazy thought.

The list of things that you have learned to do in the last month is a long one, especially in the last week or so. It’s almost as if you looked at the calendar and said, “Hey, I’m turning 9 months pretty soon here so I better start playing catch up!” and all of a sudden you’re busting out with all of these new things that you can do.

Here’s the latest list:

- Waving goodbye. Okay, so maybe you’re really just imitating us, but you seem to do it on cue and it makes your dad and I puff up with pride.

- Eating Puffs (kinda like little Cherrios, but they dissolve faster in the mouth and come in a ton of yummy flavors). It’s taken you quite some time to get used to eating anything more solid than mush, but we’ve been working on it and now not only are you downing Puffs like a pro, you’re picking them up all by yourself. As a matter of fact, you love eating them SO much that even if you’re totally engrossed in something else, as soon as I put a Puff down in front of you, you instantly drop whatever you’re doing, grab the Puff, and shove it in your mouth at warp speed. No baby should be able to move that fast.

- Sitting up by yourself. I realize that you’ve been sitting up for awhile now, but we always had to put you in that position. Now when we lay you down, if you don’t want to stay there, you just pop yourself back up to sitting position - and boy, doesn’t that make nap times just that much more fun!

- Clapping. You just started doing this the other day accompanied by a sound that I swear sounds just like “Hurray.” You’re so enthralled with this new accomplishment of yours that you’re applauding yourself all the time now (unless you’re shoving a Puff in your mouth, of course!). But it’s so darn cute, that we could care less.

- Making the “Crinkle Face”. One day you, out of the blue, you started crinkling your little nose up and snorting. Where you got this from, I have no idea, but damn, it’s adorable!

Still no definitive crawling at this point, but you’re definitely getting there. You seem pretty content with rolling around the room, but I can tell you really want to get up and start moving. I’m in no hurry, though, kiddo, so you just take your sweet time. I want to enjoy these last few weeks of you being my baby before you turn into a toddler…

Happy 9th month, Rory Bear.

Love,
Mama

Life Interrupted

Sorry I've been missing in action lately but I've been at home with a raging fever and a horrible, dry hacking cough that makes the whole house rattle. I've barely been able to open my eyes let alone focus on a computer screen so there hasn't been a lot of blogging going on. Hang in there and I promise I'll be back on my feet again soon (I hope!).

Until then...

Strange Customers I've Seen In the Last 24 Hours

1. A lady who kept holding a napkin in front of her mouth whenever she spoke to me. Her explaination? She said that she had just come from the dentist. HUH???? Perhaps her teeth are so white now that she's afraid she'll blind me...

2. A man came in and ordered 2 tall regular coffees. I told him it cost $3, so he gave me his credit card, which I proceeded to charge. He then went on his merry way. About ten minutes later, the same man comes back looking pissed and says, "Why did you charge $3 to my credit card?" and I'm like, "Well, because you gave it to me to charge." And he says, "But I wanted to pay cash! Why did you charge my card?!" And again I say, " Well, sir, you GAVE ME YOU'RE CREDIT CARD TO CHARGE. You didn't give me cash. But I'll be happy to refund your card and you can pay in cash instead." But the man kept huffing and puffing about the fact that I had charged his card without his permission even though HE HAD HANDED ME HIS CARD TO CHARGE. What did he think I had done, gone into his wallet without his knowledge and grabbed his credit card? Yup - I'm such a fabulous pick-pocket that I can actually steal your credit card from BEHIND A REGISTER, ACROSS A COUNTER with ten other customers looking on. I'm just THAT GOOD.

3. These two older ladies come in who were probably in their late 60's or so. They are giggling like little girls, and when they came up to the counter, they could barely order because they were laughing so hard. When one of the ladies leaned in closer to me in order to pay, I got a huge whiff of what could only be marijuana. These little old ladies were TOTALLY HIGH! Now I've seen everything...

The Mystery of the Earring

I have this sexy pair of dangly earrings that I got a few months ago that I absolutely love. I'm not really a big jewelery person, but for some reason these earrings always made me feel just a little bit beautiful (and when you're working at a coffee house covered in spilled espresso or walking around the house with baby spit up all over you, that's a pretty amazing feat!) I usually keep the earrings hanging on a votive candle by the bathroom sink so that I won't lose them, but about week ago, I happened to looked down and notice that one of the earrings was missing. I tore the bathroom apart looking for it - in the sink, on the carpet, in the drawers - with no luck. I even got Hoby to help me look, but he couldn't find it either. It was gone.

I waited for awhile hoping the missing earring would turn up, but I finally gave in this past weekend and decided to buy a new pair of earrings. I found a cute little silver pair at Kohls that were just as dangly and sexy - and they were even on sale! That night, when I was getting ready for bed in my bathroom, I looked down at the candle and saw the one earring sitting there, looking lonely, and I thought to myself, I'll have to bring up my new pair and they can all hang out on the candle together. And then I went to bed.

Well, the next morning, Hoby got up before me and took Rory for a walk so I could get a little extra sleep. When I got up about an hour later, I took a leisurely shower, and then began to get ready. I happened to glance down at the candle, and lo and behold, there were TWO EARRINGS sitting there. Wow, I thought to myself, Hoby must have found the missing earring this morning and put it back to surprise me. And lucky me, now I'll have 2 pairs of sexy little earrings!

I saw Hoby a bit later and thanked him for finding my missing earring, but he just got this confused look on his face and said, "Um, I didn't find your earring." Huh? I was pretty sure he was pulling my leg (and if you know Hoby, he has a habit of doing that on a fairly regular basis), so it took a few hours before I finally started to believe him. And so the question has to be asked - if he didn't put the missing earring back, HOW DID IT GET THERE? We've both been over it about a thousand times and neither one of us can figure it out. I mean, the earring didn't just get up and walk itself back to the candle by the sink. It had to have been PUT there. And since neither one of us did it, well, HOW DID IT GET THERE?

And now we're both just a little freaked out...

Over the Hills and Through the Woods...

We recently went up to Mariposa to visit with Hoby's parents and grandparents. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Mariposa, it's a little tiny rural town up in the mountains near Yosemite where my husband grew up. It's beautiful in a breathtaking sort of way, but people definitely live life differently there. Men drive enormous trucks with gun racks, the local grocery store has pictures of prize pigs and their owners up in the meat department, and everybody knows everything about everyone. And while most Grandmas give their grandkids toys or candy, Rory's Mariposa Grandma gave him a BB gun. No, I'm not kidding, and I have photographic evidence to prove it:



Does my kid look like a redneck in training or what? Sheesh...





The BB gun wasn't loaded of course, but being the liberal flower child that I am, I can't help but feel that there is something so inherently wrong with this... sighhhhhh.

Aside from the gun, we had a wonderful time up in the mountains with Hoby's family. We had a chance to say goodbye to Hoby's Grandpa, Papa Dudley, who sadly passed away the day after we came home. I know he would have been very proud of how well his great grandson handled his gun :)

8 Month Newsletter

Dear Rory -
Today you turn a whopping eight months old, and once again I am totally amazed at the changes that have taken place over the last month. To begin with, you've definitely become more mobile, and even though you aren't crawling yet, that certainly doesn't stop you from getting around. You love to roll EVERYWHERE, and the look on your face when you pop your head up after rolling onto your tummy is one of pure joy. It's like you're saying, "See, I don't need you people. I'm perfectly capable of getting around by myself." You've just begun to get up on your hands and knees and rock, so I expect that you'll be experimenting with crawling any time now, but trust me, kid, I'm in NO HURRY. You're enough of a handful as it is, I can only imagine what adding crawling to the mix will do. Oye Vey.

Another major change this month has been the appearance of your very first tooth. FINALLY! Right now it's just a little white cap peeking out from your very swollen bottom gums, but I'm sure it will be a full fledged tooth before long, with several more to follow. It's hard for me to picture what you'll look like with a mouth full of pearly whites - and while I'm sure you'll be adorable, I'm really going to miss that toothless grin of yours.

A cool thing that has started this past month is your ability to somewhat understand what we're saying. One of your father's favorite pass times these days is to yell "VENT!" when he's carrying you around in the kitchen, and you instantly look up at the ceiling towards the heating vent that's there. (Random, I know, but it's how we get our kicks around here.) You also get very excited when you hear us discussing a bottle, so much so that I've started spelling it out so you won't know what we're talking about, even though I always hated it when my parents did that to me. (Sorry, little buddy.) And you definitely know what I mean when I say "ALL DONE!" when you're finished eating because you instantly get upset that your food supply is about to get cut off. (Does it look like you're not getting enough to eat? Come on now!)

But all of these pale in the face of your biggest accomplishment the month - SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT. Just a few weeks ago, you started going to bed around 7pm and not waking up until 6:30am. THAT'S ALMOST 12 HOURS. The first few times you did it, I thought for sure that you had died during the night, and I'd run into your room in a panic only to find you sound asleep on your tummy with your butt up in the air, snoring away peacefully. I've finally gotten comfortable enough to stop checking on you throughout the night, and now I usually get at least 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. It's a wonderful thing. So how did we finally do it? Well, I'd love to be able to say that we followed a specific method, but honestly, after trying several approaches with minimal success (including the dreaded "cry it out" method), you really just starting sleeping through the night when YOU were ready to, and not a minute sooner. And that was that.



Right now, Rory, you're a lot of fun to be around, especially since you love to smile and laugh. Everywhere we go, strangers see your beautiful face (usually covered in drool) and they can't help but smile at you and come to say hello. I've seen you turn grumpy sales people into cooing masses of jello with just a few cute little giggles - and it makes me puff up with pride. I'm so proud to be your Mama, little man, and I hope you know that will NEVER change.

Happy 8th month, Bubba!

Love,
Mama

Surprise, Surprise

Did I mention that my friend Sara and my Mom threw me a killer suprise party for my 30th birthday? They really pulled one over on me. (Way to go, ladies!) I was pretty bummed out about turning the big 3-0, but the party lifted my spirits in a big way. It made me realize that I had nothing to be bummed about - I have a wonderful husband, an adorable baby boy, and great friends and family who care enough to want to celebrate this major milestone with me. It doesn't get much better than that...

Here's me with my sneaky brother and parents who managed to keep the party a secret the whole time I was out to dinner with them right before the big shin-dig went down:



Oh, and did I mention that I'm a blonde now? It's kind of a long story, but all you really need to know is don't try and dye your hair at home. EVER. Enough said.

The Top 5 Things That Annoy Your Coffee Barista

1. Ordering a Mocha Frappucino, the LARGE SIZE, with EXTRA mocha syrup, and EXTRA Whipped Cream, and then saying that you want the LIGHT kind because you're watching your weight. That's like ordering a Big Mac with super sized french fries and a DIET COKE. What the hell is the point?

2. Saying things like "Wish I could have a no-brainer job like yours" or "If only my job were this easy." Try walking a day in my shoes before you make comments like that, asshole. I don't see you getting up at 4am and having to work on your feet all day schlepping coffee for schmucks like you, all while providing service with a smile. It's a lot tougher than it looks, trust me.

3. Not saying PLEASE or THANK YOU and just barking out your order in a no-nonsense sort of way without a hint of human kindness. I understand that you're in a hurry, but just remember, I'm a person, too.

4. Waving your money at me when while I'm writing up your order and ringing it into the register, as if to say "Hurry up." We can only go so fast, especially you order things like a venti latte with 2 pumps of sugar free vanilla, 1 pump of sugar free hazel nut, and half a pump of peppermint with half nonfat milk and half soy steamed together to 180 degrees with extra foam made from whole milk, and two extra shots of espresso, double cupped and stirred.

And last but not least, the MOST annoying thing is...

5. Talking on your cell phone while ordering a beverage... and the annoyance factor triples when there are people waiting in line behind you. The other day, when the store was extremely busy, this one lady finally gets to the register and then just stands there, continuing to talk on her cell phone and ignore me. Since it was obvious that the other people in line were in a hurry, I tried to signal to her that she needed to give me her order, but she just glared at me and continued to talk. Then when she finally hung up after several minutes, she actually said to me, "My phone calls are VERY important." Oops, sorry Lady, I didn't realize that the whole world revolved around YOU. Please, people, when you get to the register, be considerate of others and HANG UP YOUR DAMN PHONE.

Can you tell I had a great day at work?

The Big 3-0

Tomorrow I turn thirty.

Now, normally birthdays don't bother me, but for some reason, this one just refuses to slip by peacefully. It's irritating me, like a popcorn kernel that's stuck between my teeth that I can't seem to work out with my tongue. Thirty years. THIRTY YEARS, PEOPLE! How did I get so old all of a sudden? I swear it was just yesterday that I turned twenty-one, and now I'm freakin' thirty! It's hard to get my head around it...

I've noticed that as this day has been approaching, I've become very nostalgic for the "old days". Everything seems to trigger a memory. Like today, for instance, I heard James Taylor on the radio and I was instantly taken back to high school, driving with my windows down and smokin' cigarettes in my old Pontiac Sunbird. And yesterday, a woman came in smelling like Noxema, and I was suddenly a little girl again, with my Grandma rubbing the cold cream on my sunburned shoulders. I've even been dreaming at night about the houses I lived in as a child in Michigan, reliving every tiny detail, right down to the color of the carpets and the pictures on the walls.

Is this normal? To start living in the past as the future creeps up on you? It's a very strange feeling, this turning thirty stuff. Yes, indeed.

Well, goodbye twenties, it's been nice. Here's to the next decade...

Sleep Baby, Sleep

As I may have mentioned once or twice before, we have been struggling with Rory's sleep habits (or lack thereof) for quite some time now. He barely naps during the day for more than 30 minutes at a stretch, and even though there's no logical reason for it, he still wakes up several times a night. I've read a handful of books on the subject and heard advice from like a gazillion people, and everyone keeps telling me the same thing - I have to let him cry it out.

I really never liked the idea of letting Rory cry for long periods of time without consoling him - after all, I AM his MOTHER and mothers are supposed to comfort their crying children. THAT'S WHAT MOTHERS DO. However, lately I've begun to realize that my son has become hip to the game that children play with their parents, and he has learned how to manipulate his crying to get what he wants. Yes, amazingly, it really DOES start this young. And what he wants right now is to stay awake as much as possible so he doesn't miss anything, even if it means that he's so tired that his head starts to spin around and he starts whining in that ultra annoying way of his for hours on end that makes me want to shove hot forks in my eyeballs.

And so, after discussing it with his pediatrician and getting the final okay from her, Hoby and I decided it was time to let Rory cry it out. We were going to turn off the baby monitor, shut his door and not go in and get him until morning. It sounds cruel even as I type the words, but I know that it's what we had to do to teach Rory how to fall asleep on his own. Nothing else had worked and the poor child was EXHAUSTED.

I spent the entire day yesteday dreading Rory's bedtime, expecting that it was going to be a long, long night of him crying and me trying to restrain myself from going in to comfort him. He went down to sleep pretty easily around 8pm and had a short burst of crying at 11pm, but then all was quiet. So quiet in fact, that I kept wanting to go in and make sure that he was still breathing (but I didn't). I don't know if we just didn't hear him during the night or what, but when I heard him crying this morning and looked at the clock, it was 7am and I couldn't believe it! My son had just officially slept through the night! The WHOLE NIGHT, from 8pm to 7am - that's ELEVEN FREAKIN' HOURS, people!

I'm trying not to get my hopes up for tonight - I mean, it may have been a fluke or something - but it's possible that this could be the start of something great. Because when Rory sleeps, that means that I get to sleep, and sleep, my friends, is a wonderful thing.

Cross your fingers for me...

Vegas, Baby

Hoby and I were lucky enough to escape to Vegas at the beginning of this week to celebrate our anniversary sans baby. It was the first time we left Rory alone for more than a night and it was both scary and exhilarating. I had been looking foward to this little vacation away from parenthood for weeks - and I have to admit that I was actually far more excited about getting two full nights of sleep than I was about hitting the Strip.

We stayed at the Stratosphere and although it wasn't as luxorious as some of the other hotels, the room was clean and the price was right. On our first night there, we played the nickel slots, tried our hand at Blackjack and drank a bunch of 75 cent beer. But as much as I was loving the "free" life without Rory, I definitely wasn't a party girl anymore. I was done by about 9:30pm and ready to hit the sack. We headed up to the room and I gleefully got ready for my first night of quiet, uninterrupted sleep.

Fast forward to 3am. Suddenly, loud sirens were blaring, and Hoby and I were jolted awake. It was the fire alarm and we could hear people running down the halls. All I could think was, you have GOT to be kidding me! We quickly threw on some clothes over our pajamas and ran to the stairs. It hit me then that we were on the 21st floor and it was a long way down. By the time we got to the ground floor and found out it was a false alarm, I was boiling with rage. How DARE they wake me up! This was MY NIGHT! My long awaited night of UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP! But instead I was standing in the middle of a cheesy casino in my nightgown. And to top it all off, the elevator wasn't working because of the fire alarm, and I sure as hell wasn't going to walk up 21 flights of stairs after breathing in all this second hand smoke. Man, was I pissed. By the time we got back to our room, I was so worked up that it took me at least an hour to calm down and get back to my precious night of sleep.

Sighhhhh.

If this isn't irony, I don't what is.

Water, Water Everywhere...

I thought you would all enjoy knowing that my son has officially drooled ALL THE DROOL IN THE UNIVERSE, so your babies should be be completely drool-less for now on.

You can thank me later.

7 Months

Dear Rory -

Yesterday you turned 7 months old and I've decided that you must have been born with the special ability to speed up time. It feels like you were only a helpless infant for a second or two, and now you're this little firecracker who manages to do something new every day. It never fails to amaze me.

Right now, you are in the beginning stages of learning to crawl, and I don't know whether to be excited that you're about to become mobile or scared to death. Yesterday, while I was busy on my computer and you were playing happily on the other side of the room, I suddenly looked up to find you at my feet, giggling. Right about then, the reality of motherhood hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm never going to be able to take my eyes off you again.



I shouldn't be surprised, though. You've ALWAYS been a baby in motion. Those little legs of yours barely ever stop moving, even in your sleep. For about a month now you've been rubbing your feet together in a way that looks like you're trying to start a small fire, and you do it so much that I have to keep socks on you constantly now so that you don't rub your feet raw. And whenever we put you on your changing table or in your crib, you immediately start a kicking frenzy that's exhausting just to watch (and it makes changing your diapers that much more interesting!)



Speaking of EXHAUSTING, let's talk about your lack of sleep. Getting you to nap is almost impossible and you insist on getting up a million times a night. I realize that the world is all fresh and new for you, but I promise that if you close your eyes for a little while, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MISS A THING. And if you think that Mommy and Daddy are fun to play with now, just imagine how much MORE fun we'd be if we actually got some sleep.

But since you're not sleeping at the moment, we have plenty of time for other activities. Here's a list of your favorite things to do:

- Watching us stack up your blocks so that you can knock them down.
- Blowing raspberries (accompanied by a mouthful of drool, of course)
- Pulling Mommy's hair (or earrings, or necklace - you get the idea)
- Grabbing everything and anything and sticking it in your mouth
- Babbling loudly and repeating the same sound over and over (this week's it's "PSSSFFT")
- Sucking on people's blue jeans (Don't ask!)
- Smiling at strangers
- Banging your toys together to make the most noise possible
- Playing Peekaboo (the BEST GAME EVER)
- Slamming down your bottles in record time like you're a frat boy with a beer bong
- Eating your fingers



Rory, you are the busiest little baby in the universe. You keep me on my toes 24/7 - and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy 7 months, big guy.

Love,
Mama

Ready For His Close Up

We finally had some professional pictures taken of Rory (he's almost SEVEN MONTHS OLD so it's about time!) and they are absolutely adorable. How can you not want to pinch those little pumpkin cheeks?!

Keepin' the Home Fires Burnin'

Last Wednesday morning, my cell phone rang at 5:30am. My first thought when I heard the phone was, it had better not be the Mother of All Coffee Houses calling to try and get me to come in early. I put the pillow over my head and said to myself, nope, I'm not gonna answer it. Those pricks wil just have to find someone else to come in at the crack of dawn and schlep coffee.

But then, as I tried to go back to sleep, I started thinking, what if it wasn't work calling? What if there is some sort of family emergency? So I grabbed my phone and looked at the number, and sure enough, the words "Mom's Cell" were there. Oh crap. I quickly dialed her number, and when my mom answered she said, "Sorry to call you so early, but we're on our way to your house. We've been evacuated." Evacuated? What do you mean EVACUATED? Apparently I have been watching too much Tivo lately and not enough news because I had no idea that there were several large wildfires burning in Southern California, one of them being in Calabasas practically right in my parent's backyard!

So my parents arrived at our house around 6:15am with their two cats and a box of important papers. I put on a pot of coffee and we all immediately became glued to the television trying to find out all the information we could about the fire and how close it was to their home. We kept seeing areas that were on fire right around the corner from their house, so it was definitely a little scary there for awhile.

But in the end, the fire fighters did an excellent job and none of the houses in their neighborhood were harmed. My parents stayed with us for one night and were able to get back into their house the next day to start cleaning up all the soot and ash that had blown over. But that's a small price to pay considering how bad it COULD have been, right?

Never a dull moment in this family. Nope. Never.

Just a Regular Night on the Mother Ship

So I'm working last night at the Mother of All Coffee Houses and this lady comes in. She seems nice enough as she says, "I'd like to order a cappuccino." A cappuccino? Sure, no problem. So I grab a hot cup to write the order on and she says, "Oh no, I want an iced one." An ICED cappuccino? (For those of you who are coffee illiterate, a cappuccino is shots of espresso, half steamed milk and half HOT FOAM. Foam can't be made with cold milk). I try to explain that we can't make an iced cappuccino, how about an iced latte instead? It's similiar but doesn't require any foam. But oh no, she keeps insisting, "No - I want an ICED CAPPUCCINO!" I'm trying really hard not to roll my eyes in exasperation as I run down a list of other iced drinks we have for her in hopes that she'll choose something else. But she starts yelling at me going "What's wrong with you people?! I just want an iced cappuccino. It shouldn't be so complicated to order a damn drink!" I'm trying really hard to think of something to say to make this lady calm down when an idea comes to me. "Do you mean an iced Frappuccino?" I ask. "It sounds a lot like cappuccino." She gets quiet for a second and then gives me this very cold look and says, "Yes, a Frappuccino, that's what I've been saying ALL ALONG."

Sighhhhh, I love this job.

How Cute Is This?!!!!

Last night, Rory had a hot date with his girlfriend Avery...

You're Right, Uncle Jer - He Does Look Like You!

My Son, The Non-Sleeper

About a week or so ago, my six month old son decided that he no longer needed to sleep. Of course, he never discussed this with me or asked me if it was okay, he just made the decision all by himself and has stubbornly stuck by it.

I've tried EVERYTHING to get him to sleep - rocking, bouncing, singing, begging, pleading - NOTHING WORKS. He's so incredibly overtired that he fights anything I try. And with little to no sleep, he is quickly becoming The Crankiest Baby in the World (not to mention the fact that I'm becoming an exhausted, Cranky Mama).

I had lunch with my friend Amanda the other day and she told me that a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child had worked miracles for her with her daughter, and since I'm desperate, I ran right home and ordered it online. Now I'm pacing the floors waiting for it to arrive and praying that it provides me with the answers I'm looking for. Because it CAN'T go on like THIS...

SPAM

Apparently, I'm getting to be sooooo popular that people are spamming my comments! Am I cool or what?

Makes Mouths Happy

Mmmmmm...wooden spoons!

Stranger Danger

Today I took Rory to the outlet mall to try and find some clothes for him since my son is a baby giant and has outgrown EVERYTHING HE OWNS. Unfortunately, he has only so much patience for his stroller, so I decided to put him in the Baby Bjorn and carry him around to keep him happy (although my back will probably never forgive me for it.)

After doing a little shopping for him, I thought a little window shopping for myself was in order, so I headed over to the Nike outlet store to take a look at their sneakers. As I was waddling around the store with my 20 lb baby strapped to my body, I heard someone come up behind me and say "Your baby is so cute!". I turned to say thank you and saw a woman wearing the Nike store uniform standing there smiling strangely. She started talking really fast and saying "I just love babies! Babies are so cute! I'm really good with babies! Babies love me!" and she kept trying to grab Rory's hands. Now, I could tell right away that she was mentally challenged, so I was trying to be patient with her, but she kept grabbing at Rory's hands and face. I could tell that it was starting to scare him, and then he a few seconds later, he began to cry. So I said with as nice of a smile as I could muster, "Sorry, he doesn't really like strangers touching him. It upsets him." But she kept saying "Oh no, babies just LOVE me!" and she WOULDN"T STOP! I finally had to turn so my back was between her and Rory so she couldn't reach him. I quickly said "Ok, we've got to go now, thanks!" and I began to hurry out of the store with my hysterical son. Then, as if that wasn't enough, she actually FOLLOWED US to the door and I have to admit I was starting to freak out a little bit. However, when we got to the exit, she stopped and started waving like a maniac and yelling "Bye baby! Buh Bye, baby!"

It took me 20 minutes to calm Rory down after that and I was pretty shook up myself. I felt like I had just paid a visit to the twilight zone! Perhaps I didn't handle that right? If something like that should ever happen again in the future, any suggestions on how to manage the situation? How do you tell strangers not to touch your child without being rude?

(And by the way, don't take your babies to the Nike outlet in Camarillo! Consider yourselves warned!)

Six Months

Rory -
Well, you've officially turned six months old, and your father and I can barely belive it. You've been around now for HALF A YEAR - how is it possible that it's been that long? It seems like just yesterday that we were bringing you home from the hospital, just a tiny helpless bundle with two new parents that didn't have a clue what we were in for. There wasn't much to you then really, you were sort of just this cute baby blob who cried, ate and pooped - pretty much in that order - all day, every day.

But as the months have gone by, amazing changes have taken place. Yes, you still cry, eat and poop, but now you can do so much more! You're sitting up by yourself, eating solid foods, rolling over, reaching out and grabbing things, trying to eat your feet, and laughing when your daddy and I tickle you. You've suddenly become a little HUMAN, with your own personality, right before our eyes. You know exactly what you like (insert big baby smile here) and what you don't like (insert ridiculously loud shrieking here), and you're not afraid to let us know exactly how you feel at any given moment.



And let's talk about the crazy growth spurt you've had. Twenty pounds at six months! Oye! I can barely carry you anymore! You've outgrown all of your 6-9 month clothes that you wore for like one whole second, and now all that fit are your size 3 diapers. So if you look like a little white trash baby in just a diaper and a bib for the next few months, I hope you can forgive me, but I just can't keep up with all this GROWING. We even had to go out and buy you a big boy car seat tonight because I could no longer lift you in and out of the car in your infant seat without throwing out my back. Have I mentioned that I have arms of STEEL?!



But no matter how sore my arms and back may be, or how tired I might get, seeing your beautiful smile makes it ALL worth it. After a long day of work, there is nothing better than coming home and having your face light up when you see me walk in the door. I hope that no matter how old you are, that part never changes...

Happy six months, Rory Bear.

Love,
Mama

Wouldn't You Know It...

Hoby and I bought tickets to a concert a few months ago (sorry I can't say what concert it is because Hoby would kill me) and like most new parents, we were really looking forward to having a big night out on our own for the first time without Rory. We were going to go out for a romantic dinner, go to the concert and then have a WHOLE night to ourselves for blissfully, uninterrupted sleep. I had to ask for the night off weeks ahead of time from work, and we started preparing Rory for his first sleep over at his grandparent's house.

Yesterday was the big day, so I got up early and started getting all of Rory's things together to take to my parent's house - his hammock, extra clothes and bibs, his baby food, bottles, extra pacifiers, his favorite toys, his Baby Einstein DVD, his teddy bear, the list goes on and on. If you're a parent, you know how it is. You have to take EVERYTHING and then some.

So we get to my folks house and spend a few hours hanging out so we wouldn't just be dropping Rory off and leaving him. Right before we were going to leave for the evening, Hoby decided to check the concert website for directions. Here's what he found:

"Tonight's concert is postponed due to illness. A rescheduled date will be posted as soon as it is available."

Do we have the BEST luck or what?!

Laptop Malfunction

Sorry for the sudden lack of updates, but unfortunately our laptop broke and had to be sent away for repair. My old desktop computer has keys that stick, so typing anything longer than a few sentences takes FOREVERRRRRR and makes me absolutely crrrrrrazy (it took me ten minutes just to type this so far!). So until we get the laptop back up and running (which hopefully is soon!), my blogging is going to be spotty at best...

Keep checking back though, I promise I'll write as soon as I cannnnnnn!

Rollin' Rory

Well folks, it's official - Rory can roll over by himself! I left him on his back for a minute and walked into the kitchen, and when I returned, he was on his tummy, grinning from ear to ear.

Now we're in trouble!

The First Night of the Rest of Our Lives

Rory has been sleeping so well in his new hammock that we decided it was time to finally make "The Big Move". So I just put Rory to bed in his OWN ROOM for the first time ever.

And while I should be jumping for joy, I have to admit that I'm not feeling the huge rush of freedom that I was expecting to. Yes, I'm excited that we can now make all the noise we want to in our bedroom and we won't have to worry about waking up a sleeping baby (Hoby is EXTRA stoked about this for obvious reasons - wink,wink). But all of a sudden, I've realized that I'm going to miss the reassuring sound of Rory's breathing all night long and the cute little sighs that he makes as he snuggles in his bed. I've liked knowing that he was right there, "just in case", and even though he's going to be right down the hall, I know he's going to feel far away tonight.

Perhaps he won't even notice a difference? I guess we'll see.

Here's to getting through another parental milestone...

A Wad of Cash Well Spent

As you can see by this picture taken only moments ago, the Amby Hammock is a total success!

Excuse me for a moment as I get down on my knees, thank God, and then do the Happy Dance! (Insert crazy jig-like dancing here.)

I'm so grateful that Rory likes his new bed - if he had hated it, I never would of heard the end of it from Hoby, who understandably was a little hesitant to buy something so expensive that only had a 50/50 chance of working.

BUT IT WORKS!

Did you hear the gust of wind that just rattled your house? That was my huge sigh of relief...

Of course, that doesn't mean that all is perfect in the world yet as far as Rory's sleeping goes, but we're definitely one step closer than we were when he was sleeping in his swing. If he sleeps through the night for three nights in a row in his new hammock, we're going to officially move him into his own room - and that, my friends, will be a life changing event! Imagine spending an entire night without having to worry that every little creak the bed makes when I move is going to wake Rory up. Or knowing that I don't have to jump out of bed and run down the hall like a bat out of hell in order to cough or sneeze without him hearing. Oh, the freedom! I'm getting giddy just thinking about it!

No More Peas, Please!

Come Out, Come Out, Where Ever You Are

Lately I've been feeling a little bit like I've lost myself. Yes, I'm Hoby's wife, I'm Rory's mama, I'm a barista at the Mother of All Coffee Houses...I've become so many things to so many people, but what has happened to ME? The REAL me?

The me that used to feel inspired every time she walked outside and smelled fresh air.

The me that loved to shake her groove thing on the dance floor.

The me who was passionate about her political beliefs and wasn't afraid to stand up for them.

The me that was always ready to laugh and could flirt with the best of them.

The me that was a little bit wild and had a sense of adventure.

Where has that me gone?

Don't get me wrong - it's very important to me to be a good wife, a good mother, maybe even a good employee, but it makes me sad to know that I'm slowly losing myself in the process... I guess I need to find a way to balance the me I used to be with who I am now.

Any suggestions?

An eBay Addict is Born

Just in the last month or so, I've slowly started becoming an eBay addict. It all started when I was searching for a special bed for Rory. For those of you who don't know, Rory has acid reflux (passed down from his mama - sorry baby!) and he has never been able to sleep in his crib because he can't lay flat on his back for extended periods of time. He was officially diagnosed with acid reflux when he was two months old, and we were told that he needed to sleep in a semi-upright position. Well, the only thing that seemed "upright" enough at the time was his swing - and now he's been sleeping in it ever since. But now that he is close to outgrowing his swing (but not his acid reflux), I've been trying to figure out what we were going to do next.

After much researching on the web, I found two options: the first was something called a Tucker Wedge/Sling Combo, which was essentially a really big wedge that had a harness attached to it to keep the baby from sliding down it during the night.



I contacted the company, but was told that once my son hit 15 pounds, he would be too big for the thing, and since he's currently 18 lbs, that was crossed off the list immediately.

The second thing was something called an Amby Hammock. It's a lot like Rory's swing, but he can be in it up to 45 lbs.



It's a pretty cool looking contraption but it has a mighty hefty price tag - not to mention a "no return" policy. So just for kicks one day, I decided to see if anyone was selling them on eBay - and lo and behold, they were! And so my eBay obsession began...

I started gathering things up around the house that I could sell to start saving up money to buy an Amby Hammock. After selling just about everything that wasn't nailed down in our closets, I eventually had enough to start trying to buy. Hoby and I discussed how much we were willing to spend and I happily started bidding. But time after time, the prices kept going too high and I kept losing. And I HATE to lose! I was getting pretty discouraged - until last night when I finally WON!!!

So Rory should be getting his amazing new Amby Hammock sometime in the next week and I'm so excited! I'm praying that he takes to it immediately and that maybe we'll even be able to move him to his OWN ROOM. Yeehaw!

True Love

Feeling extra confident in his "Hung like a Horsey" t-shirt, Rory makes his move on Avery...

The Most Obnoxious High Chair Ever

Rory has finally reached a major milestone in his young life - he has begun to eat solid food. Actually, the word "solid" might be a bit exaggerated, because it definitely looks more like mush to me, but since it's being eaten with a little spoon, I guess that qualifies as a solid in the world of babies. Of course, this big step in his life required buying some new baby equipment (I swear we are single handedly keeping Babies R Us in business) so off we went to buy a high chair, some plastic bowls, and some spoons.

But we couldn't just buy ANY old high chair - NO SIREE! It had to have toys attached that Rory can't throw over the side, a musical attachment that has little fish swimming around in it, removeable trays that go in the dishwasher, wheels so we can roll him around the room, and don't forget 3 reclining positions and a 5 point harness. And that's not EVERYTHING, trust me, but the more I write the more ridiculous I feel for buying the darn thing. It even LOOKS obnoxious, doesn't it?




My kid better love this thing.