The Gun Lady

There's this lady in my office that I get a real kick out of. She used to be a policeman (or is it police-woman these days? Who the hell knows anymore.) She's one of those loud mouth, Dr. Laura-loving Republicans who probably belongs to the NRA and loves to tell you how the Liberals have screwed up the country. She looks innocent enough, but don't be fooled. This woman could kick some serious ass.

This lady - let's just refer to her as The Gun Lady - loves her firearms and isn't afraid to use them. It's become sort of a running joke in the office to count the number of times she refers to wanting to shoot someone/something during the course of the day. It pops up so much in her converstations that I couldn't help but start keeping track, and so the Daily Gun Tally was born. Today's tally is only at 2 so far - a child molestor she heard about on the news ("I'd shoot him in the right in the balls!") and the guy who gave her grief at the supermarket ("I'd shoot the tires out of his parking-place stealiin' beemer!"). Yup, what a world it would be if only The Gun Lady could do her thing! Don't worry - she's not some psycho who's on the verge of going postal - it's all in good fun. But let's just say I'm certainly glad she's on my side. When I finally get a real job and get out of this place, I'll definitely be keeping her number.