A Taste of What's to Come

Saturday, my friend Holley and I headed out the door in the morning to have a "Girls Day Out" and to hit the stores one last time in search of Christmas presents. We knew the stores were going to be crowded, but we were really excited because someone had lent us their handicap parking placard, meaning that we could park RIGHT IN FRONT of almost any store we wanted. How COOL is that?! (I know this seems a little bit evil, but since my back DOES hurt like hell on a fairly regular basis, I was able to rationalize any guilty feelings I may have had and decided to just enjoy it.)

The first thing we did was hit the infamous McDonald's (you know, the one place I'm not allowed to go), and get a Fruit and Yogurt Parfait for breakfast. (I was proud of my fairly healthy choice, considering the other grease laden options available to me.) Then, we took deep breaths and charged into Target, the first store on our list, with fierce determination. It has just opened, but it was already filled to the brim with shoppers practically running each other over with carts full of Christmas crap. Ah, the Spirit of the Season! As I was waddling down one of the aisles trying to elbow my way into the toy section, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my stomach.Hmmmm, I thought, that Fruit and Yogurt Parfait isn't agreeing with me. I guess that's my punishment for sneaking off to the evil Golden Arches.

Fast forward to 20 minutes later and I'm hunched over my shopping cart trying to breathe through the pain that's ripping through my abdomen. I was trying to act like nothing was wrong, but it was getting really hard and inside I was starting to freak out. I mean, what if I was in LABOR?! Dear God! I'm not ready for this yet! We don't even have a crib, or any baby clothes - I haven't even taken Lamaze class yet! I don't know how to BREATHE!!

I finally gave up on appearing to be calm and I sat down on the floor, right in the middle of the toy department. (And while I was down there trying to distract myself, I actually found some nifty gifts for Holley's nieces on the bottom shelf - go figure!) Once the pain had subsided enough for me to get up, we went through the checkout as quickly as possible (I couldn't let the shopping excursion be a TOTAL waste) and then, evil or not, thank goodness we were parked in the handicap spot close by! I called Hoby to let him know what was up and as soon as I got home, he got me out of the car and into bed, lecturing me all the while on the wickedness of McDonald's food and how it had probably made me go into labor. Uh, yeah, right. Thankfully, as soon as I was lying down, the pain started to go away.

And then, as quickly as it started, it was GONE. I was SO relieved! After calling a few people and reading some of my pregnancy books, we finally realized that I had just had my first run in with "False Labor". Somehow, I had never thought that Braxton Hicks contractions were painful - I just thought my stomach muscles would tighten up a few times and that would be the end of it. Shows what I know, eh? Let's just hope I don't have too many more of these "practice runs" - I was NOT enjoying myself one bit. And I know this is probably small potatoes compared to the real thing! If this is a taste of what's to come, then I'm not ashamed in the least to say that Mr. Epidural Man is going to become my new best friend!

Hoby made me spend the rest of the day with my feet up in bed. He went out and got some DVDs for us to watch and guess what he brought home? Super Size Me - a movie all about the evilness of McDonald's food. Ah, my husband, you've just gotta love him!